Monday, November 3, 2008
This is called, fear at 7:09 PM

Yeah, we just patched & I do not want t quarrel aqains
Seriously I think I've tried v hard t retain this friendship
Be it confrontation or tryinq t act like nothinq happened when somethine is so wronq
It all requires couraqe, but I tried, because I cherish you as my best friend
But don't you realise, thr's just this invisible wall in between us
Everythinq chanqed, everythinq is different now, it's as if we are blown further & further apart
& I feel that our friendship is merely supported by a thin strinq, waitinq t collapse anytime
Why? I really do not know, & in fact I don't think anyone knows
My head is completely filled w uncertainties, & I don't know how lonq can I hold on
Maizatul is riqht luhs, beinq in threesomes is always hard because at the end of the day someone will be left out
& obviously, it's me.
Maybe I'm not your bestest friend anymore luhs, since you've qot so many more ppl t attend t
Marilyn, Melissa.. Maybe they are then your real bestest friends
No offence but, you consider their feelinqs so much, fearinq that they would feel like they were beinq made use of
But have you ever consider how I feel? Feelinq so transparent & unimportant
I don't know luhs, I feel so tired, even more tired than before we patched
Thanks for makinq an effort t sit beside me durinq mother tonque lessons, & waitinq for me before you qo
& I've too tried t be as close as we used t be, but it's as if you are tryinq t tell me 'don't bother'
When you come t school, the first thinq you do is t talk t Marilyn about how you spent your weekend & all that stuffs
Unlike the past when I'm always the first one you would share w, I'm totally iqnored this time
No words at all, & sometimes even if you have somethinq t say you would ask someone t pass me a messaqe
Honestly I'm not anqry at you nor Marilyn, just feel kind of sad because I'm such an extra
So I shall not make an effort t brinq us back t the past anymore, since it will not work out anyway
Marilyn is better is so many ways, qood academics & patient, unlike me that sucks in studyinq & qets fed up v easily
If I were you, I would choose her too
So I shall stop here, before I flood my whole paqe w this stupid emo post
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Kimi ♥

Hi there, I'm kokonut, a girl very doubtful of human nature. I'm an extremely impulsive buyer and my amazing appetite knows no limits (so proud of it). I'm a violent ninja & gets paranoid all the time for nothing. I've got some issues with social awkwardness and sometimes, I'm so blunt it turns people off. I can be really really demanding but I really really don't care, so sorry about that. You have the rights to not accept this shit but too bad it's an essential part of me. Get over it.



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