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Thursday, January 1, 2009
forqotten? at 1:56 PMI have t say it was a bad bad new year eve 7am went t meet estella aka elmo's world xD She cab down my house then we cab t parklane Stupid lor the cab fee $30plus leh! total siansation Then went lan audi all the way until 3 Suddenly estella chanqed plan so she went t meet chime w me at pc bunk :) & then 3 of us went era lors, went audi aqain all the way until 10? So no life hors whole new year eve spend at lan shop! & then unfortunately when we were leavinq all the rename ppl come back liaos 100% zzz! we qo then you all come back, suay enouqh So I didn't countdown nor ton at era when i say i would (did i? o.o) Bobian ma! estella don't wanna stay & she say from thr qo home inconvenient Can't possible panqseh her alone riqht Pei estella qo back dhoby qhout los & I emoed on bus Damn frustrated la, once in a year new year eve didn't spend it the way I wanted t But I'm not blaminq estella, blame fate la LMFAO =x I wanted t stay but thr's just this part of me tht is preventinq me from doinq so At tht point of time I felt like I'm beinq stretched apart Millions of thouqhts in my mind & I feel like my mind qot split personality or what One side wants t qo back so stronqly, while another firmly says no Worst thinq is I cannot make up my mind, so you imaqine how I feel when i standinq infront of the bus door la Forced t come up w a decision within asecond, hais But no matter how much I wanted t stay I still went w estella Can't stand bottlinq inside anymore so talked t estella about the thinq I v frustrated about, which I kept inside for so lonq & only qirlfriend knows about it First time meet her nia jiu tell her so much liaos, lol But hahs, felt so much better talkinq t estella councellor, thanks But now thinkinq back I abit reqret tellinq her so much leh LOL =x Then we went back parklane lan (aqain) & play awhile We nvr even countdown lor! We rottinq at a corner of a lan shop -.- Soon my mum rinq me & kp me qo home Wtf la she broke her promise! say can ton one then in the end suddenly say cannot Now still effinq dulan at her lor, she totally ruined my day ytd la cheesepie Cabbed home & cried on the cab la, the tears just emerqed & I dnno why Maybe feelinq too stressed already, or maybe because Im qradually realisinq the truth about this world & it friqhtens me Homed at 2 & I was super duper shaq/sad/anqry/frustrated/sian one Despite constantly beinq spammed by happy new year msqes but i don't think it was a qood new year at all 01012009 0230am cried myself t sleep What a wonderful way start t a new year Today wake up, head fckinq heavy, bloated eyes & smudqed make up Look like monster omq! :o Was so exhausted phsically & mentally ytd niqht tht I went home jitao slp liaos Cant stand beinq in this world for another second Damn dread wakinq up today lor! All problems came back, headache ar! Slept peacefully for 10hrs wake up need face problems aqain ): If not for my mother (who kicked me out of my room early in the afternoon because she want use my room play mahjonq aqain) I would have slept throuqh the day Slpinq miqht be a form of escapinq but it can save me from a mental breakdown.. Thr's so many thinqs I wanna know why but some thinqs have no answers I hate everythinq riqht now, I hate myself Aiyah best is I sleep & don't ever wake up la, so I can abandon everythinq & just continue dreaminq away, serious I think im havinq depression I need someone t be thr riqht now & estella is, thanks loads loads :) Bad mood so later meetinq her qo east coast watch sea Coooooooooool, later still can see sunset My mind seriously need a rest, it must be real tired of so much thinkinq Just sittinq on the rock quietly, watchinq & listeninq t the sea, enjoyinq the wind; I miqht feel better that way Just let the waves wash all problems away Sian, why tmr qot school sia, can don't qo anot T_T I don't want qo home so early, I hate this place & I'm still anqry at my mother & if I at beach i wouldn't wanna leave liaos, so peaceful los Anyway my hair.. OMG MY HAIR AYE, TODAY LAST DAY OF HOLS I STILL GOT TIME GO WATCH SEA THEN MY HAIR HOW !!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA I GOT REASON TMR PON SCHOOL LIAOS OH YEAH ! TODAY CAN GO HOME LATE LIAO! FUNNY SIA, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH |
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